Monday, May 2, 2011

I Am At Peace...

Today is the third anniversary of my Mother's passing. When Mom left us, I really mourned. I was happy for her that she did not have to suffer in pain in longer, but I missed her so much. My Dad was very sad, and it seemed like I cried constantly and thought of her so much. I felt her presence several times...it seems every day I missed her more. I decided this year I had to be better ... I needed to change things up a little, so today I spent the day at the temple and then just pondering while I walked around the temple grounds. Tonight, I came home and Earl went to Mom and Dad's with me. We took down the beautiful chandelier that Mom had worked so hard to buy. We loaded the recliner we bought for Dad in his last few months, and cleared the few final things out of the house. Earl held me in his arms and tried to soothe me while I cried... knowing I was walking out of the home where I had accumulated a lifetime of memories...the last four years very sacred ones. I laid the keys on the cupboard, locked the door and walked out.
I am ok...I will probably always shed tears when I think about the beautiful mother I have. I do know she is busy...busy teaching others about the gospel. I know her heavenly home is beautiful and probably has chandeliers in every room. I know she and Dad are hand in hand, visiting, teaching, sharing and caring...as they always did...and they are strong and healthy.


I Am At Peace...

Purples, pinks and yellows sway in the gentle spring breeze,
Clouds up in the blue sky, floating wher'er they please.
I step into the kingdom -- and enter at the gate,
I am bid to come forward...down the stairs and then walk straight.
The quiet calms my spirit -- I want to feel close to her,
As I dress and prepare for the work, emotions inside me stir.
As a child I watched her, with the iron in her hand,
Lovingly press sacred robes, carefully fold them -- and --
A look of joy and contentment, in her countenance I could see,
I could feel her eagerness to learn, as her blue eyes looked at me.
Off to serve and to worship, they would happily go,
As a child, the full extent of this act, I did not realize or know.
Like her...today...I serve, and as I am washed clean,
She is there with me, or so it really seems.
I am at peace -- I bow my head and fall down on bended knee,
And thank my Father not only for her, but also what my Savior has done for me!



5 comments:

Giselle Rasheta said...

Mom. It took me a while to get through this. How beautiful. You are such an amazing daughter and mother. And you are able to capture your emotions and thoughts so well in your writing. Thank you for sharing this special and sad time in such a beautiful way. We love you.

The Gunnerson Family said...

I can't imagine Grandma and Grandpa's house without the chandelier. Thank you for sharing your beautiful feelings with us. I am happy that you are "at peace".

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Billie Jo said...

Each time I read your blog I am again reminded what an amazing woman and mother you are. You devoted so much of your time and energy to both of your parents and their lives. I am sure you fill the emptiness when you see the house or any other part of their "life". It speaks volumes about the type of daughter your were to them. They are happy together and busy as ever! and I hope that gives you the peace of mind you deserve.

polly said...

what a beautiful post and tribute to your mother. You and I can go years without seeing each other or talking and yet as I read the things you write about your mom and and your children I know why we became friends all those years ago. We think so much alike. Everything you said is something I have felt about my mother. For me it has been 12 years, and yet I think of her every day. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.